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 Today is the day of crazy people infiltrating my library, apparently.

Crazy Person the First
A skinny blonde woman burst into the library up to my desk and asked me where the vending machines are in this building. I couldn't really hear her, so I repeated, "The vending machines?"

"Yes, the vending machines. Are there any in this building?" she asked very slowly, like I was the moron and she hadn't mumbled at me while looking the other way.

"Sure," I said. "They're downstairs. If you go down the stairs and turn ri..."

"They are LOCKED UP TIGHT," she said, interrupting me. Now, if she knew that there were vending machines in a room that was locked, why didn't she just say that in the first place instead of just asking where there might be vending machines? If she had started off with something like, "Are there vending machines somewhere else besides downstairs? That room is locked" then we wouldn't have had to waste time with her getting annoyed with me.

Anyway...she repeated that the room was LOCKED UP TIGHT again to which I said it wasn't supposed to be. Her response to that was to flounce off muttering about how she's here until 10pm and there's nowhere to get food. I called after her to suggest finding the security guard who might have a key for the door, but she was already in the hallway.

I have two problems with the whole situation, though...the first of which being that I'm the librarian, not the facilities manager, so don't get upset with me for the student center being locked. The second of which is that if you know you're going to be in class from 7pm until 10pm, bring a damn sandwich or a bag of chips from home.

That wasn't the end of her, though. She came bursting back in about five minutes later wanting to know if I knew WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT CART. It's the cleaning lady's cart, so I told her it was the cleaning lady's cart and she stomped off again, out of breath from running up and down the stairs, presumably to find the cleaning lady who could be anywhere in the school.

Vending Machines: Serious Business.

Crazy Person the Second
Last semester, this teacher came in because she needed us to do our intro-to-the-library class for her students. She came in saying how she knew she should have scheduled this sooner, but blah blah blah whoopsiedoodles, can we schedule it now? Fine, okay...well, she just came in again about twenty minutes ago going on about how she KNEW she should have scheduled this sooner, but could we schedule it now?

Because I'm just an adjunct, I suggested that she e-mail my boss. I also wanted to suggest that she keep her gorram voice down because TALKING LOUDLY IN A LIBRARY IS FROWNED UPON.

"Didn't you do it for me last semester?" She has this way of talking that makes you feel like you've forgotten something and she's forgotten something and OH MY GOODNESS, ALL THE FORGETTING IS BEING DONE.

"Yes, but..."

"But she'll be doing it this semester?"

"I don't know, but she's in charge of scheduling the classes."

But instead of saying that she'll e-mail my boss, she asked what time my boss was in and said she'd come back and talk to my boss on Wednesday. People who are afraid of/can't use e-mail in 2013 need to be smacked.

Crazy Person the Third
This one normally wouldn't even have registered as crazy except that it came on the heels of the first two and that is...a girl came in and immediately started talking at her normal voice on her cell phone. After about thirty seconds of conversation, she walked out, then came back in a minute later with her parents in tow. Her mother's cell phone then immediately went off, loudly.

And that's the kind of night I've been having.

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Ama

April 2013

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